Normal bios on fansites are so boring. So here at TBMH, we attempt to entertain while educating. We're like that cool teacher in high school.

Mike Nesmith

Robert Michael Nesmith was born in December of 1942. In Texas. With a Southern accent. He was poor until his mom began inventing office supplies and then he started playing guitar. He learned how to write songs and then he got married to a pregnant 17 year old. He released material under the pseudonym Michael Blessing and then he had a baby. He tried out for The Monkees and got a part. He wrote a lot of songs for The Monkees and got rich. He made people laugh a lot on the TV show, but he didn't like it. So he got mad and had fits and then The Monkees toured. He got madder and had more fits and then he started to wear pirate shirts and little ties. The Monkees recorded a "self-made" album and it didn't do very well so he got mad and sad. His sideburns ate his face and he started to wear giant sunglasses like Paris Hilton. They did a TV special and Mike wore sparkly outfits and then Peter quit the band. Mike quit after another album. Mike invented Southern rock and then went on to invent MTV. He joined The Monkees for a reunion in the mid-90s and helped do another "self-made" album. Currently, Mike is in the process of re-inventing the internets and solving all the world's problems for his own secret amusement.

Peter Halston Thorkelson was born in February of 1942 with the ability to speak twelve languages and play forty-eight instruments. He flunked out of college and became a hobo. He moved to Greenwich Village and became a folk musician. He changed his name to "Tork" and became a hippie. He created his alter-ego "dummy" character to fight crime and hecklers. He tried out for The Monkees because Stephen Stills told him to, and he got a part on the show. He played a borderline mentally disabled person, based on his own crime-fighting alter ego. Davy made Peter get new teeth and then they did Headquarters. Peter directed an episode of The Monkees and then they made a movie. Peter wore a lot of pattern and sandles and then they did a TV special, where he invented classical music. Then he quit the band. Peter gave all his money away and turned his house into a homeless shelter. He taught at a hippie school and then he was an alcoholic. He participated in a reunion with two other Monkees in the 80s, recording the period piece Pool It!. He recorded a solo album at some point. He also participated in the 90s reunion with all four Monkees, and again with Micky and Davy in 2001. He is currently talented and awesome and randomly performing in a variety of cities.

Micky Dolenz

George Michael Dolenz was born in March in the year of our Lourdes 1945. His parents were in show business. He dyed his hair blonde and played a circus folk on TV when he was a little boy. When he was an older boy he hung out, went to school, and played in a bar band. He tried out for The Monkees and got a part because he had already done a series and because he was wicked awesome at improv. Or something. He was zany and did bad impressions and sang lead on a lot of their songs because Micky has a fabulous voice. Micky learned to play drums and they recorded Headquarters. He quit playing drums and experimented with fabric and afros. They made a movie and a TV special. Then Peter and Mike quit and Micky carried on with Davy for another minute. They recorded an album and it was less good than others. Micky was part of all the Monkee reunions in his spare time. He started directing TV shows and doing guest spots on Boy Meets World. Currently, he's a FUCKING BADASS. He's the G.D. Chuck Norris of 60s pop.

David Thomas Jones was born in December of 1849 in England, please God. He wanted to ride horses but instead acted in stage plays. He was in Oliver and met The Beatles. He tried out for The Monkees when he was twelve and got the part because he was British and pretty. He sang lead on a bunch of songs, and played tambourine, and did random percussion when they recorded together. He was the most popular Monkee. He looked like he smelled heavily of cologne all the time, don't you think? Davy seemed pretty game for anything those other assholes came up with, and considering he was not in any way a musician, he held his own alright. He stuck it out to the end with Micky, and participated in the reunions. HE HAD A FRIGGIN MULLET. Just so you know. Currently, Davy's doing something with horses...and there was rumors about some museum...I don't know. I really just don't. He does still do shows though, I think. So there you go.